I’m never a fan of waking up.
Waking up from general anesthesia is a pretty strange experience. You know all those videos where people wake up and say crazy stuff, or don’t recognize their loved ones? I was terrified I was going to do something embarrassing. My wife said I asked her “I didn’t say something racist or anything, did I?” I don’t even remember saying that. She also says I didn’t recognize her, but it was just a blank stare, nothing to make an entertaining video.
The first thing I really remember was wondering if I still had that catheter. Then I couldn’t stop thinking about how bright the lights were. I slowly started to become more aware of things, and realized my wife was sitting by me, and I had a bandage on my head. The nurse came in and asked if I wanted juice or crackers. I REALLY wanted some apple juice… but they were out. So I had orange juice.
For a long time I was just in and out. I heard the guy on the other side of the curtain talking to the nurse. I don’t know what he actually talked about, but I was certain he was on his way to meet his girlfriend at a soccer game. I said something to Aprille and she said he was an old man and his wife was just taking him home.
Eventually I was aware enough to start getting ready to go home. Sitting up was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The whole hospital was spinning around like a carnival ride. I only vaguely remember getting dressed, then Aprille went and got the car and the nurse pushed me out front in a wheelchair.
I had never realized how uneven every road is until that drive home. I had a couple of vomit bags at the ready, but fortunately never had to use them. At some point while I was still out of it I thought about soup, and became obsessed, so we stopped at Zupas on the way home.
Once we got home Aprille moved our recliner right in front of the TV, and I set up camp for the next few days.
At some point I finally mentioned the catheter. Turns out, I didn’t have one. It was never part of the plan. All that fretting for nothing.
